Not Happy in Australia
Travelling alone is not easy. Sometimes it really effing sucks..
I’ve had several days where I’ve cried in my hostel bed asking myself why the hell I’m here.
What is the whole point of me travelling.
What is my actual purpose in life.
I always thought it was so lame when people said they were travelling so that they could “find themselves” haha….. now I get it.
I’ve broken down so many times and felt so low and lonely. I’ve checked for cheap flights back to Toronto. I’ve questioned who I really am as I feel as though I’ve changed so much since being here (not necessarily in a bad way).
I’m not the type to really ask for advice or talk about my issues with my friends. I always know that when I have a problem I’ll be able to solve it. And to be honest I quite like the whole self-pity stage and like to stay there for a while.
I know that if I go to a friend for advice… they'll just tell me what I already know when all i wanna do is just be sad and feel sorry for myself for a bit. There’s nothing wrong with this but when you let the victimhood stage go on for too long it starts to become a default anytime something doesn’t go your way.
I’ve grown sick of playing the victim of life when things don’t go to plan or if I’m having a down day. I have gotten a lot better at reaching out to friends when I’m feeling stuck. And I’ve become very good at self-therapy when I’m wanting to pack up and go home. I’ve realized through self-counselling that I simply wasn’t allowing myself to do things I enjoy for fear of what others will think or say about how I decide to spend my time.
When I’m really questioning my existence and life decisions I make a list of all the reasons why I came to Australia in the first place:
- to experience independence
- to experience a different way of living/different culture
- to do whatever I want whenever I want
- to challenge myself
Then I make a list of why I currently feel unfulfilled:
- lacking a sense of routine
- not allowing myself to do things that make me happy
- Caring too much about what others think of how I spend my time (no one actually cares btw)
- not taking risks that I know will make me happy in the end
- Allowing loneliness to be the reason I feel unmotivated
- slacking on creating content for personal life and business
After this I make a list of what I can do to make myself feel more fulfilled:
- have a morning routine that helps me feel grounded no matter where I am (meditation, movement, journaling, etc…)
- have more therapy sessions (like this) when I start to feel resistance or stuck-ness
- Schedule in time to create content for my website and for creative purposes
- do one thing every day that excites me (going for walks, checking out a new cafe, wine tour, kayaking, going to the beach)
This isn’t a one time session. I have to constantly remind myself why I am here and ask myself why I don’t currently feel happy and what I can do to create happiness for myself. Happiness really is a choice and I am so grateful that I have discovered my own practice to help myself get out of the depressive state and to choose happiness by doing things that make me enjoy life more. Sometimes I need to convince myself to just get up and go but I always feel so much better once I do.
I guess the main takeaway I want you to get from this is that it is our own responsibility to create happiness. Sometimes it helps to talk to a friend or a specialist. Sometimes putting pen to paper will work wonders. Either way, the sooner you let that shit out, the sooner you can figure out what actions you need to take to find your own happiness.
Although it sucks to hear from others when we're in a rut... I believe that happiness is a choice and it is no one elses responsibility but our own to make us happy. This is very freeing when we realize that we are the ones in charge no matter our life situation.
...what do you do to get yourself out of a rut?